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2018年8月7日 下午
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<h1 id="seo-header">路下如烟</h1>
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本文最后更新于2023年9月25日 上午
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<p>(文.璟)</p>
<p>“我会不逼你戒烟。“ </p>
<p>”哦,为什么呢?“ </p>
<p>”因为我觉得,你抽烟的时候,噘嘴的样子很自然。“ </p>
<p>金菁喜欢穿有帽子的衣服, 她觉得戴上帽子很有安全感。</p>
<p>她在大学的时候不喜欢跟人说话,圈子很小,她熟稔一切能自己做的事情,比如画画,比如看书,比如打游戏,比如去学校附近的小酒吧安静的坐一夜。</p>
<p>她最喜欢酒吧里一个总穿着帽衫,头发略长的瘦瘦的男生唱的歌,不像那些装蛋的摇滚,难听的嗓音在夜里爆炸出很多玻璃碎痕,让原本烦闷的人更烦闷。</p>
<p>那个男生唱的歌总是温柔的老歌,或者日本动漫里的歌曲。</p>
<p>金菁喜欢这两种风格,一种治愈她,一种填满她。 </p>
<p>有天夜里,帽衫男生下班,背着吉他走出酒吧。</p>
<p>金菁戴上帽子跟着他,帽衫男生点了一根烟,金菁也点了一根烟。</p>
<p>男生走进了金菁的大学,金菁也跟他走进去。</p>
<p>帽衫男生回过头来看着她,她也直视着男生。</p>
<p>帽衫男生站在月亮的阴影下,他说:我认识你。我叫戴笠。 </p>
<p>戴笠说他很久就前就注意到金菁了,总在他演唱的时候坐在最远的卡座上。</p>
<p>戴笠说他不是这个大学的,他只是有个好朋友在这里上学,他来这个城市混日子,住在他宿舍里。 </p>
<p>戴笠说有一次看到金菁穿着樱木花道的印花T恤他就唱了一首《灌篮高手》的主题曲。</p>
<p>戴笠说秋天看到金菁穿一件印着寒冰射手的帽衫,他的心怦然一跳。</p>
<p>戴笠不怎么爱说话,在一起了一个月,金菁也只记住这些比较重要的。 </p>
<p>金菁给戴笠买了很多帽衫,他俩经常手牵手去网吧双排。</p>
<p>戴笠打的很好,尤其是坦克式英雄,金菁还有课业,打游戏的时间不多,戴笠每晚唱到两三点,就会去网吧通宵到早上,然后闷头睡一天。</p>
<p>他俩相处的时间多是黑夜,路灯下每个小摊,金菁都知道他们的味道。</p>
<p>戴笠唱歌需要嗓子,可他又极度依赖烟,唱的时间越来越短。金菁期末考试周时,戴笠得了咽炎。 </p>
<p>金菁仿佛从那个时候开始,变成了贤妻良母。她不去泡图书馆,也不去参加集体活动,她偷偷买了小煮锅,给戴笠煮梨汤,省下钱去买化咽炎的药。</p>
<p>戴笠没有了酒吧的工作,每天窝在男生寝室里打游戏,晚上出来跟金菁在操场散步,看着长腿的姑娘挽着挺拔的小伙。</p>
<p>他俩在操场的尽头比赛似的抽烟,戴笠抽下金菁的烟,轻轻的亲吻她的嘴。 </p>
<p>放了假的金菁回到老家,她在火车卧铺上就疯狂的想念戴笠。</p>
<p>两个人在南北两地开着视频打rank戴笠会用有些沙哑的嗓音给她唱歌还会寄栗子糕给她。</p>
<p>金菁开始留头发,开始每天在家里学煲粥和炖汤,她出门去买菜,喜欢萝卜刺眼的色彩。</p>
<p>她买了所LOL里所有的情侣皮肤她看到中路阿狸站在戴笠的蛮王身边她会一撇嘴射出一道冰箭过去暴击百分百。</p>
<p>过完年了的某一天,戴笠截了一张最强王者的段位图给她,还有一张频道邀请主播函。</p>
<p>金菁买了全套泳池皮肤送给他,事后想想好像戴笠只喜欢用里面的鳄鱼。 </p>
<p>金菁回到广州上学,戴笠在机场用白色的大羽绒服裹住了她。</p>
<p>她闻到浓浓的烟草味和CK香水味道暖暖的从他的怀里渗出来。</p>
<p>戴笠的咽炎还没好,他 嘶哑着嗓子说:” 我真想你“。她陪着戴笠在机场吃了最后一顿饭,戴笠提着行李箱下午飞往苏州。 </p>
<p>现在想来,金菁也不知道戴笠什么时候一举成名,变成职业选手都认识的玩家。</p>
<p>他的直播成千上万的人看,他的名字也曾上过百度头条,金菁只是日复一日的过起曾经不言不语的日子,她在小吃摊前想着那个头发半长,却依旧很精神的戴笠。</p>
<p>第一个月金菁飞去苏州找他,他跟几个主播一起合租,桌上有成堆的沙县小吃外卖盒,戴笠的屋里乱成一团。她每月都会尽力去苏州看他,帮他做些吃的,收拾房间。</p>
<p>戴笠的胃在苏州也被搞坏了,睡眠又很差,金菁常常会彻夜一语不发陪着他做完直播 ,然后抱着像个孩子一样的他哄他睡去。 </p>
<p>渐渐很多姑娘喜欢戴笠,很多人喜欢他的直播。</p>
<p>金菁的那个暑假没有回家,她帮戴笠开了一个淘宝店,她则在苏州找了一个兼职,戴笠每天打直播,她则在线下忙着联系发货卖货。</p>
<p>此时的戴笠剪了短发,精神洋溢的。</p>
<p>戴笠偶尔带她直播双排她只选辅助或者ADC戴笠也随她走着下路。</p>
<p>他的ADC太浪辅助英雄一个也没有常常下路崩的一拍两散。</p>
<p>金菁总会嘻嘻嘻的笑,戴笠也无奈的摸摸她的头</p>
<p>。戴笠给金菁买了一条薄荷爱喜。</p>
<p>他说你不是喜欢艾希么。</p>
<p>第二年戴笠又给金菁买了一条她最喜欢的萨摩,说起来,那大概是戴笠唯一送给她的礼物了。</p>
<p>戴笠叫他”小j8,“,后来金菁改成了盖伦。 </p>
<p>金菁总在戒烟,可好像总也戒不掉。</p>
<p>她看着戴笠的时候想抽,看不到的时候也想抽。</p>
<p>戴笠打野的时候她就想我怎么不是蓝爸爸,戴笠在上路被抓时她就想骂中路的卡牌为什么不飞大,戴笠中路越塔时她就想冲进去替他抗塔。</p>
<p>戴笠的吉他一直仍在角落,她无聊的时候就去擦拭,她看到频道里对戴笠疯狂爱慕的女生她会轻蔑的笑。</p>
<p>她把戴笠的头抱在怀里,她想这样安抚他一辈子。 </p>
<p>后来的事情就没有后来了,戴笠参加过一次线下比赛后,彻底火了。</p>
<p>他回到了老家安徽,买了专用的电脑和椅子,专职做起了主播。</p>
<p>她慢慢的把自己的很多都放到了戴笠家里,情侣的睡衣,拖鞋,牙刷,提莫的玩偶,寒冰的手办,她的帽衫们……她回到广州准备毕业答辩,她抱着论文的心情就像抱着结婚证书一样激动。</p>
<p>她知道的,差不多。</p>
<p>她开始想戒烟了,但是她舍不得。</p>
<p>她一直记得戴笠第一次夸她的那个场景。</p>
<p>两人坐在学校附近的路边,一起抽着烟。 </p>
<p>戴笠摸着她的头说:“我会不逼你戒烟。“</p>
<p>”哦,为什么呢?“</p>
<p>”因为我觉得,你抽烟的时候,噘嘴的样子很自然。“</p>
<p>还没得知答辩结果的金菁就飞到了芜湖见戴笠,那就是人生里最狗血的一幕,大中午的戴笠睡在被窝里——那很正常,里面还有一个女人——那不正常。<br>再后来,她就什么都不知道了。</p>
<p>她开始清醒的时候,就是一条一条写着戴笠生活习惯的时候</p>
<p>——他不能吃辣不能吃隔夜不能吃真空包装不能喝牛奶他有起床气他胃病很严重他的咽炎需要抑制他的亲昵很少……。</p>
<p>她不敢想他站在那个女人面前维护他的样子。</p>
<p>就像自己的辅助站到了对面ADC的身边。</p>
<p>如果那还是个机器人,她一把把你抓到了他们的防御塔下,折磨你,打死你。</p>
<p>她打开自己的游戏记录几乎都是与戴笠一起双排的他是ADC或者他是打野。</p>
<p>她闭上眼,写道:戴笠不爱打下路,不要逼他。 </p>
<p>走的那天,金菁哭着说:戴笠,我要好好努力,我要去拳头公司,我要让他们在上路也有双人组合,我不要上单自己一个人! </p>
<p>金菁好像真的把烟戒了。</p>
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